Huntin

I am a predator, I'm always hunting. Well maybe I have that backwards, maybe I'm not the hunter but the hunted. I think at one time I was a hunter, top of the food chain.. but not anymore. If I was Austin Powers I would have lost my Mojo. I don't really care to get to know you guy that I met at a party. It isn't that you aren't interesting, I just don't particularly care. I know that nothing will come of it except me having to turn you down and it being socially awkward whenever we all hang out. I just don't feel for anyone. I mean, lust is one thing. Anyone can lust after another. Sure we could have a go, but what will come of that? Again, nothing. It was just that. I just want friends, friends that I don't have to worry about losing. And it just so happens that I like guys more than girls. And that makes things complicated. Feelings get involved. One of us will get our hopes up, then crushed. Or it would work out? Isn't that how the movies work? Best friends don't realize they are in love until 3/4 of the way through the movie and they live happily ever after. That doesn't happen in real life. Well maybe, I thought it could. Or at least have a relatively neutral ending. Three years and I'll be gone, a whole new world.

This is my new favorite bumper sticker..

The word "Pitbull"

I just got back from our local Farmer's Market and I had an interesting experience involving my dog and other people. He is of course a Pitbull mix and you can look at him and say that. Big head, stocky body, beautiful basically :) But I brought him with me because dogs are allowed and it is always good to bring him out to meet new people and dogs. So we are walking to the market and a lady is sort of standing facing us. We get closer and I can see she is eying my dog with a sort of scared look in her face, meanwhile he is off in his own dog world sniffing everything happily wagging his tail. We get into speaking distance and she starts talking to me, but not waiting for a reply so mostly talking to herself. She keeps saying "oh are you friendly? oh are you friendly?" "You look mean, you look mean." "You look friendly, oooh you look friendly" and when we get close enough for him to walk up to her she starts backing off and he comes up tries to sniff her she is obviously afraid and I tell her he is just sniffing her and saying hello, but she is still afraid and she never breaks her view of him, as if he is going to viciously break free from my giant leash and eat her face. But as soon as he say she was not interested in him he kept walking. Literally 20 feet after the crazy lady a younger couple walk up and the girl right away starts petting Cash and they say how cute he is and are loving on him. With no hesitation, no fear of an attack, complete trust. It is amazing to me that crazy people like the first lady exist, I mean, I can see why but it is just weird to me. I have complete trust in almost any dog, unless they give me reason not to. I wouldn't even know if a dog is friendly or not and I would walk up to it, if it did something or seemed like it did not want me to get any closer than I wouldn't. But why would a person bring a dog that is not people friendly to a people place? As I kept going through the market, people kept petting him and some would eye him but most came up and pet him right away putting a big smile on his face and a fast wag of the tail. People always come up and ask what he is, when they know what he is. They say I saw him and thought he was so beautiful and I just couldn't figure out what kind of dog he was. And I say he is a Pitbull-Black Mouth Cur mix and they ooooh and awww and his "beauty", and I'm not just being full of my dog's beauty, this happens daily. And he is a beautiful coloring. But about 4-5 people or group of people came up to me and told me he was beautiful and asked what he was and pet him, and talked sweet to him and had no fear of him. I love those people. We were in line to get hot dogs and there was a family behind me with a baby in a stroller and a talking toddler. The baby kept trying to sit up to pet Cash, and Cash kept sniffing his little socked feet and the mom and dad were okay with it. They told me about their dog at home and how he looks like Cash and the baby pet him and the little boy sat down and was petting Cash and telling me about their pitbull and said "Pitboools are the tufffest dawgs evar!" and pet Cash on the head grabbed his hot dog and went on his merry little way. It was so cute. The world is a crazy place.

Last One

"Say now you loved me all along
What made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel?
I can see it in your eyes
you mean all of what you say...

But I must confess
you're so much more than I remember
Can't help but entertain
these thoughts, thoughts of us together"

That's it. No more sad stuff. I have a good life. And this is my story.

I start my volunteer work at the SPCA of Sanford tonight. I am so excited to work with and help dogs. Even if it is picking up their poo. It will help when it is Cash's week to be at my parents. I love dogs. I think that they are the greatest thing put on this earth. I just don't understand how someone could hurt such a great creature.

I love Cash. It amazes me how loyal he is to me. All I did was decide that I wanted him, and he shows me gratitude for it everyday. Everytime I hear him I get a smile on my face. When he isn't here and I hear him on the phone I get anxious to see him again. He is my child. I (hopefully I'm not the only one) feels like it is my responsiblitiy to take care of him. He didn't ask to be brought into the world ( a cruel one at that) with first owners who didn't love him. And then to be brought to a shelter where I found him. He is my pride and joy, and he is only a dog! I can't imagine how much I will care for my own flesh and blood child. I just want to educate people on pit bulls. They are not vicious creatures, mine is quite sweet, and most of them are. It is horrible, horrible peole that make them vicious and unfriendly. I just hope that by working at the SPCA I can gain a better knowledge of dogs in general. I want to work with them the rest of my life. I can see no greater pleasure than handling and playing with dogs day in and day out.